masked identity

Theater people need very little encouragement to put on a costume. When a Sunday rehearsal also happens to be on Halloween, there will definitely be festively dressed actors! And that is why, if you walked into the theater a few days ago, you would've found a Roman gladiator doing stretches (or at least trying in restrictive metal armor!), a pirate and gypsy singing Christmas carols, Rainbow Brite and Barbie dancing together, or a tiny Bo Peep looking for her sheep.

It's fun to be someone else. We've all had the annual delight of deciding who we want to be for a costume party or trick-or-treat. Usually, we choose someone or thing that we admire or think could be thrilling. This year, I chose Astrid from the movie "How to Train Your Dragon" for a number of reasons- easy to make, fun to wear, and who wouldn't want to pretend to be a young viking who flies on the back of dragons? Oh yeah, and carrying a battle axe is kind of neat..... How many Halloween costumes are an extension of ourselves or who we want to be- even for a day?

Actors get the honor and opportunity to do this throughout the year. In the spring, I walked the steps of a disciple of Jesus. Now, when I step into this production, I am married to a hard-hearted artist. I get to portray a woman, who like a few of my real-life friends, loves her husband and prays with a heavy heart that he'll also know her First Love- Christ. And just like our Halloween costumes contain pieces of ourselves, so often do our stage roles.

Each one of us has our own reasons for being drawn to the theatre. When you're someone else, you can escape reality for a moment. You also learn about life from another perspective, and maybe even gain understanding and compassion for people in vastly different lifestyles. Sometimes we uncover something about ourselves we didn't previously realize. It's a complicated thing, identity.

What happens when the lines of theatre and life become blurry? When do we grab a mask offstage? We use disguises to hide the parts of our true selves that aren't so impressive. We pretend to feel confident in situations that make us nervous. We present exaggerated pieces of ourselves to best fit the circumstances. This isn't necessarily a negative thing. I think there are instances where it's appropriate to behave in a certain manner (job interview, for example). But are we always true to the person God created? Are we "dressing up" for good reasons?

When I was studying at a college in Kentucky, my theatre professor told me that we should never use our acting skills in "real life". I thought she was nuts. I was increasing my skills and finding them quite useful beyond the stage doors. While I never meant to lie or manipulate (and I don't think I really have- at least not on purpose), I have not always been proud of who I am. When I would rather be someone else- someone more charming, funnier, and without my flaws and hang-ups- I could just portray that person. Believably. And that became the person everyone thought I was, all while missing the "real" me. Then, it wasn't long before it was unclear who the "real me" even was.....

It's not unique to a formal show. We all give performances daily-like wearing the smiling mask while our heart is breaking. But "dressing up" outside doesn't stop the heartbreak inside. At the end of the day, we still have to remove the costume, wash off the make-up, and reveal our true identity. But if we're brave enough to look in the mirror for a moment, we might see the beautiful soul that God cherishes so much. That's the identity He treasures and created for a reason- the person He does not want to hide.